So as to not totally freak my best friend out, I should probably post something more on the positive side. I am trying very hard to be at peace with my thoughts. Everyday, I am more comfortable with the visions of my future.

forever a hopeless romantic...I think so. Despite the unsettling-ness that often accompanies such a personality, it is who I am. And I like being me. I like the fact that sometimes my heart loves too hard. I like that it sometimes consumes me. I feel deeply and always have. It keeps me, me, even when I have to dig "myself" out and am startled to realize, "oh, there I am." It keeps me clinging as opposed to settling.

ONCE A DREAMER...ALWAYS A DREAMER

6/09

John and Tug on the beautiful island of Masonboro...so lucky my best friend lives nearby!

Missing my daffodil girl...

John coloring eggs...we have a great tradition of coloring eggs each year at my in-laws. I don't think any of us will ever get too old!

A.C.'s cool eggs! We like the method of using
rubberbands and dipping only part of the egg into a color.

I am teaching a club at our school for 1st-5th graders. It's entitled, "manicures, pedicures, facials, OH MY!" I am trying to emphasize the realtionship between living healthy and being beautiful. And also stress that beauty comes in all colors and sizes! So far, we have done manicures, made an oatmeal face scrub, and done facials with avacodo masks! It's been a blast. The cool part is we have also incorporated the scrub and mask ingredients into our snacks! Healthy in...healthy out.

my camellias...
look like candycanes!

my daffodils

Harbor enjoying SPRING! She's
a beautiful yellow daffodil.

March was not the best month I've had. I usually like March: spring arrives, my anniversary, my best friend's birthday. Well, my anniversary did come. I got a gorgeous ring that my husband picked out all by himself. I know it was a challenging and gratifying accomplishment for him. ( I am not easy to buy for...frugal and simplistic...hard to apply when shopping for jewelry). Anyway, it was so perfect, a little over budget, I am sure, but for once I didn't give him crap about the money and accepted the ring graciously. So, ok, that was a plus. Spring also came. Nice, you'd think, but the whole March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb...not so! The weather was crazy. It rained, it poured, it blew like crazy ALL month. It was cold too. And do you ever have those periods in your life where everyone needs you. I mean I think I was torn into 40 different directions of support. My friend, Kim is funny. She told me some of those people, especially the newly rekindled ones from facebook, needed to back off! She said I had way too much on my plate trying to deal with her (she had major sugery and has 2 young children) and another close friend whose mom and father-in-law were diagnosed with cancer in March. Her mom has lung cancer and is in hardcore treatment, and her father-in-law passed away last week, two weeks after diagnosis! Then there is always the "family bullshit." I'm not talking about my precious children or my newly redeemed husband! Preachin' to the choir, I know. And last but not least, those screw ups that the cable company makes that overdraw your little stockpile account! Those really just suck. I will admit, I have been consumed by it, but I am not by nature a confronter. I do not like confrontation. I just want my flippin' money back. I worked hard, wiping noses and handing out hugs for that money. So, as a very good friend of mine likes to say...long story short...I am happy and optimistic that April is here. Perhaps I will find something interesting to write about in April. or maybe it will be blissfully boring!

Feb. 26
Today, I am thinking of my friend. She had a serious surgery and I am wondering how she is. I am hoping she's not in a lot of pain.
I am also thinking of Smell. Her mom has stage 4 lung cancer. -not good.
I'm certain these are the things that are supposed to make you reevaluate your own existence.
How fortunate I am. I am blessed in so many ways.
And way to go AnnaCait...varsity lacrosse! woohoo.
And go John! Love ya so much, love ya so much.

progress.

Well, I have a website www.shaklee.net/kimberlywade. Pretty cool. I ordered business cards. Also cool. The only thing is, I am not a shove something down your throat type of person. I think my advantage will be that I truly believe the products are awesome. Also, I'm working on my trust me, you'll love it face. (just kidding).

Well, after devoting all I've had to my husband and children for almost 16 years, I am branching out. I was a stay at home mom until my youngest was in first grade. Then I really got brave, and took a position in the preschool of their pre-k through 12th grade school. I was full time for a few years. It proved to be quite a challenge because my husband is gone a lot. I mean A LOT. He's a tugboat captain and spends 1/2 of our life on the big blue sea. I scaled back to part-time and that is where I am currently.
It seems though, my children, while they certainly still need me, have grown quite independent. I began to think, "what happens when my oldest, a sophomore, goes to college? then my 7th grader? How about when my husband is away? Will I be ok? Will I wonder what my purpose now is? Will my brain have gone on a permanent hiatus?" Maybe it is the impending 40 thing. I want to have a little of my very own thing other than my ipod and spin class at the Y. So...I am going to try to do something for myself, to feel some sort of personal accomplishment (not that I am not incredibly proud of the successful, well-rounded, content children that I have raised.) I am going to try my hand as a Shaklee distributor. My grandparents were distributors over 20 years ago, so I have been subjected to Shaklee since I was a child. Plus, the granola inside me is dying to be heard! Live green, live healthy. There's more to it than recyling and flax seeds!

Aruba / My husband and I / 15 yrs of marital bliss : )

Me and my daughter, in St. John what a day!

one of my all time favorite photos. Me and my son looking at the stars in the Carribean Sea. What a perfect night!

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